oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
