my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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