lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
