If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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