Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
