i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Everything about him screamed your future.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
