...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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