i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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