Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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