just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a little drunk in my system
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize