dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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