i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
