it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
