Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
