Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We left the knife in your bed.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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