He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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