I cockslap morals
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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