Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
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Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
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I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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