Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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