i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
