just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
