Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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