I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
