I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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