The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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