worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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