So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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