So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
