sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
