She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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