i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
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If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
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Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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