dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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