Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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