I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
