Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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