Porn is love you can see.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
