There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize
