come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
