She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Welp...herpes.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
