just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
