I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
