The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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