I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
