I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
