and you said cock pushups were impossible
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
