paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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