so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
