Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He did a backflip because drugs
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
