I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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