whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I think people are normalizing furries
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
