I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
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