We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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