i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
