...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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