Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
