therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
