I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
