I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize