You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
soo... how was my night?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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