you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
