Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
