Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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