You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
