Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
