we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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