READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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