I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Randomize
