found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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