Having a random hookup so left but love u
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize