wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
