No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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